Somewhere somehow

Salam,
Its 10.31 pm. I feel a little sleepy and tired. All the kids are asleep right now and grandma still awake because she said that she still feel stuffed for eating too much just nw. Shes always like that. Eat late and woke up 3-4 times at night to pee. Maybe because of all the water she drank before sleeping. Maybe the medicine maybe not. My aunt and uncle at mecca right now doing their hajj. All the kids miss them so much. Escpecially the little one. Time flies fast in about 3-4 more weeks they will come home as haji and hajah. Insyallah. Aminnn.
Im praying that i will get that chance to do hajj someday insyallah. Im praying that someday i will br able to provide to both my parents to do hajj. Fulfilling their dreams on becoming haji and hajah. Able tu fullfill the rukun islam and standing in front of the kaabah feeling bless and peaceful. Someday.. Insyallah.

My life is so hectic this few weeks where i held the reaponsibilities of taking care of the children and my grandma. Not much actually, just making sure that everythings ok. Theyve eaten, go to school and safe. So no late night activities for a while. I even sleep early these days. Making sure the kids sleep before 10 pm. After that i will feel so empty and alone that sleeping early is the best way to washed everythings away.

At 11.55 pm ive received a text frm mr ego. He said "if i die tomorow, what will you say to me?" Sadly i saw that text at 5.00 am in the morning. I want to say a lot of things like "if u die, i will miss u".. "If u die i"ll be sad"... "If u die, somehow i"ll feel lonely".. "If u die.... ".
So many things to say but i ended up saying . "Live". Theres a thousands meaning behind that simple word. I feel like saying more but i doesnt matter how much i said. Somewhere somehow my silence will speak louder than my words.

To be continue..